Differing Views on Guy/Girl Relationships - blog*spot

Introduction:
In this post we will be taking a deeper look at the ?relationship models? generally adopted by Christians today. However, in retrospect, let me remind you that throughout Scripture we are given a catalyst with which we are to shape our lives: Jesus Christ, the man who demonstrated what a relationship is all about. We mentioned before that cultivating a relationship is a human need --a desire created by God, and only fulfilled by God. True? Yes, but then how often are we found looking beyond Him to people/relationships for what seems to be a void in our life? Many of us have had epic failures when it comes to relationship whether it is with God, people or family. But take courage: this is a simple reassurance of our fallen nature and evidence that we need someone who can and will love us despite our sin. The book of Ecclesiastes reminds us that all is vanity except when we live in the way God designed us to live.

?Q. There are many Christian views regarding guy/girl relationships. Can you define these different viewpoints for us?

Here is a list of ?relationship models? reflecting differing viewpoints on relationship statuses. Although these definitions are not all-inclusive, it will give you the mainstream perspective on common Christian viewpoints.

Friendship:

?????? General: acquaintance level/casual conversation level

?????? ?Family?: older/younger friendships, sibling style relationship

?????? Deep: intimate level of conversation and more frequent interaction via networking and in person. Common beliefs, goals and dreams are shared.

?????? Best Friend: the closest form of friendship where intimate conversation includes the most vulnerable part of the heart and often sharing ?secrets? and ?struggles? with this individual.

Dating:

?????? Dating: relationship with no particular commitment, just the general idea of getting to know someone.

?????? Dating for status: everyone else has a boy/girlfriend?(peer pressure)

?????? Dating for pleasure: the pursuit of relationship(s) as means of self-pleasure (physical, emotional, sexual), but with no commitment to long-term relationship (and sometimes with no acknowledgement of present/future consequences).

?????? Missionary Dating: using relationship as a means to establish a witness for Christ

?????? Christian Dating: setting various boundaries that might limit certain choices or situations?hopefully both have the same general morals/commitments.

Courtship:

?????? General Courting: pursing a relationship with marriage as the end result.

?????? Conservative Courtship: limited physical, emotional interaction as a means of guarding from hurt until certain foundations are established OR pursing a relationship with the dad first as means to the daughter.

?Q. Does ?conservative? equate Biblical? ?
What first comes to mind when you hear the word, conservative? Legalistic? Old fashion? Restrictive? Biblical? Unfortunately the word conservative has become a clich? as well as a stereotype for certain kinds of people. We tend to categorize Christian beliefs into two sectors: liberal or conservative. Some justify the conservative view as more scripturally based while other claim the views to be dated and legalist.

Let?s define the original meaning of the term ?conservative?: It means, ?to retain?. If we are retaining biblical truths in our lives, then we could be rightly called conservative. However, a lot of so-called ?conservative values? are based on past cultures not primarily Biblical principles. Example: the courtship model has been deemed ?Biblical? and ?conservative? (let me assure you that many principles in the courtship model are Biblical). ?Courtship? was originally a term used for dating in a past culture.

Q. Conservative vs. Liberal Views...which one is correct? ?

Easily put there are two extremes, conservative courtship and pleasure dating. However, we know from experiences and other?s lives that both of these --as well as the varying models resting some-where-in-between these two-- can end in devastating heartache, the ?what-did-I-get-myself-into? question, or perhaps even a ?happily-ever-after?. But what is our guarantee since both extremes have evidence of both bad and good turnout?

Every ?cookie-cutter? view on relationship has been tested and tried, but not a single one has become a working mode for this or any other generation. Why? Because a formula based on culture or experience is not enough for success. We need to take ?relationship building lessons? from God! In His word we are given founding principle on which to base how we live our lives --which apply to guy/girl relationship as well.

I want to encourage you to put away any terminology or cultural ideas that you have about relationships, and instead, think cross-culturally?think about how Christ has pursued a relationship with you. He did not base His relationship with us on culture or experience. He simply did the will of His Father. Any model for relationship that we create that isn?t 100% based on God?s Word is a very dangerous place to be.

Conclusion:
?The tricky business with this subject of guy/girl relationships is that your opinion does not matter nor does mine. In fact, let's face it...an opinion has no validations apart from the Word of God...complications take place when we take our personal application and define it as THE interpretation.? ?What biblical principles are we given in this area? What does the Bible have to say about relationships? Do you know? In our next post we will be looking at relationships from God's perspective. We will be giving you principles that you can apply in any culture and any level of relationships.?

-Tiffany Martens

Source: http://lauriejalbert.blogspot.com/2012/08/differing-views-on-guygirl.html

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